Monday, 15 October 2012

Those Pearly Gates

 Those Pearly Gates:

It's strange how we all have our own idea's of what will happen when we die. People of faith believe they join all their loved ones in Heaven and that's fine and it seems to be the general idea amongst most religious groups. 
But not me! I look on death as another adventure, and I have no idea what will happen. Oh Yes! I expect to tumble into the next world, when I leave this mortal plane, one way or the other, and hopefully I will end up in the queue at the Pearly Gates!

Now I don't know if the Pearly Gates are a place you enter heaven or a place where you get a job, which will befit your earthly accomplishments,I'm just guessing,I have no idea! 
I'm looking about for a familiar face, but no luck yet. 
As I get to the front of the queue a rather large white bearded man steps out to Bar my way, he placed his hand on my chest and  said "You are not welcome here, you have broken most of Heavens Commandments, now go"!

"Go! Go where" I say.
I stand my ground and decide it's time for a few home truths! 
"Yes I may have broke a few of the commandments! but the world is different now since you first made it, it's full of Lie's and deceit, Corruption is just about accepted as part of life here now,
if you confess to believing in truth and fairness! which I do by the way!
You get laughed at even considered a fool, peoples morals have deteriorated even decayed, and this is the world you expected me to live in? 
Firstly you didn't play fair with me! you never gave me any proof that you actually existed! no real proof anyway! 
You left me with the words "Faith have Faith"
I know millions who followed the Faith and good luck to them"
"I never got the message! OK!

You made me as I am and I did my best with what I had to work with, so I got a little dirty on the way and broke a few of your out of date rules, Surly you must shoulder some of the blame?"
"Now you must listen to me? reconsider your decision, I'm sure I can be of some use to you, I'm a talented guy"!
"Anyway God will forgive me? it's what he does!"
With that,St Peter stepped forward and this 5 thousand year old man gave me a shove and I tumbled end over end backwoods and found myself laying on the ground in my garden.
I have a wee trickle of blood from a cut on my forehead which may require a stitch or two? 
Maybe I got that for my cheek.

That didn't go so well, next time I'll have a better plan?

See told you life is just an adventure,looks like death is as well?

Who is this man on this dark and silent day,
When I have wandered all my ways.

He stands and bares my way,
and ends the stories of my days,
and offers me no hint of praise,
and so I moan,

I really am alone.



  1. You would never be barred from entering. You, my friend, are too nice.

  2. Weeeeeeeell? thanks for that D be well Agman.

  3. I do hope to see you in Heaven some day, I think I would enjoy sitting and talking with you and listening to your stories :).
    I have been taught that we don't go to heaven until Jesus Christ comes back. So if you die before then, you are asleep. Oh, and you can't see air but it's there(Use super glue on that forehead cut, it'll fix it right up):).

  4. Seeing as how I already have one foot in my grave, I'm working on a new plan of attack, as the head on one didn't work. Thank you for your comment, enjoy the Christmas season, and may your God be kind to you. Agman.

  5. You're a bonkers old man, and clumsy to boot!

    Swap your clothes for several layers of bubble wrap!

    Ha, ha!

  6. well yes it's true, I have been a bit clumsy during my life, been stabbed shot and crashed a few cars and aeroplanes and got into fights over women and things and always with a guy who was taller stronger and faster than me and hurt when he hit me, bonkers yes!
    But I'm never going to dress in bubble rap just to please you, the thrill is gone! Thank you for your kind Comments


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