Friday, 13 January 2012

My big mouth

I know my memories create my ghost and send them chasing after me, down through time.
For all the things I did or didn't do, things I said or didn't say.
I never looked behind me,
I just kept going.

Now I'm getting old and slowing down. The truth is! I'm almost stopped.

Now my ghosts catch up with me more easily and when I'm alone they visit me.
To remind me of  what I did or didn't do with my life.

I'll be sitting alone.
I don't know what triggers these visits.
I try to turn away to avoid them, 

But No !  
A face will appear in my minds eye. Its that girl assistant from the chemist shop, from all those years ago.
She is nice and very pleasant and serves me all over again, I pick up my change  and say to her again!
" you should get something for your spotty face" and walk out of the shop.

On reflection I could have? in fact I should have! laid this ghost to rest by going to see her and apologising with flowers.
But I didn't, I just kept running on with my life, never looking back until now.

It's the hurt expression on her face that visits me. I'm such a dork!

luckily I now can and  must add an adjustment to this tale!

A few days after writing this wee memory, I received an e-mail from a dear friend of mine in Melbourne Australia.

She said "she thought the girl in the chemist shop, was her sister".
After a few more e-mails, I received the following e-mail.

"Yes it was my sister? the chemist overheard you embarrass my sister! so he organised her a cure.
So really you did her a favour, in an unkind way"?

I have always been one to look at life as a flow of opportunities, not to be missed.
Here I've been given the chance to right a wrong that I did? A very rare chance indeed? after such a long time.

So with that in mind?

Fay.
I am very sorry for the hurtful and thoughtless remarks I made to you that day.

Please forgive me? Terry.

I'm sorry I'm such a fool, please forgive me for being  thoughtless and cruel,

Agman.

2 comments:

  1. We can all look back Terence and hate ourselves for the hurtful things we may have said or done without thinking. And yes the ghosts do come now that we are older and have the time to reflect. But lets be kind to ourselves now and have a very Happy Christmas.....thanks for all these posts Terence that have given me great pleasure. Talk soon. x

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  2. I'm not sure if I ever got full forgiveness card for my thoughtless cruel words on that day. but Ilma! Fay's sister is my friend to this very day, (a bonus). Well I must away, may you and James have a Happy Happy Christmas Day.
    Love and Kiss's Cuz terence

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